It's raining in Baltimore baby, but everything else is the same...

[evergleam]

I had one of those nights that I hope to remember for a long, long time. It involved me, some of my favorite people, good food, lots of laughter, a cool spring night, a great view of the prettiest baseball field bathed in stadium lights, a talk with someone who will be graduating soon and leaving forever.

I had a night that makes me actually enjoy being in college.

I'm sure sihaya09 will write a nice entry about it, she usually does.

Right now, I'm feeling tired, but content. On the way back from the Orioles game, on the metro ride home, I think I realized something about my relationship with Greg. I could write about it here, but I don't think it would be fair to him. But as I watched Mike lean his tired head on Christina's shoulder, as I listened to Mark and Rac talk, and smiled when Aster said something funny and Mark mouthed to me that he loved her, as I thought about Rac going back to her new boyfriend, and the girl waiting for Nate when we got back...I realized what I'm missing. I don't know why it took all of this to realize it, but maybe I've just been trying to kid myself into believing it wasn't there.

I've been in a long distance relationship for about three years. I don't know what it's like to share my day to day life with someone. I don't know what it would be like to have nights like tonight with someone who loved me, in that way. I want Greg to be part of night's like tonight, in my memories. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time letting go of the past, that's the only place that he and I exist together. But all of that aside, I want him to be a part of my life, and I don't feel like he is.

I don't even know if he reads this. Right now, I don't care. This might be the only way to get in contact with him. I haven't talked to him in days. That hurts so much.

Comments

[emulsion-lift.livejournal.com]

I've been in a long distance relationship for about three years. I don't know what it's like to share my day to day life with someone. I don't know what it would be like to have nights like tonight with someone who loved me, in that way. I want Greg to be part of night's like tonight, in my memories. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time letting go of the past, that's the only place that he and I exist together. But all of that aside, I want him to be a part of my life, and I don't feel like he is.

i am in a Long D relationship too. almost 17 months. we started out this way, so i guess it could have been harder. (meaning at least we weren't together to begin with, and then had to separate.) she's my best friend, and we get to see each other about once a month on average. i know she is the one for me (and i, for her) so we will make it until we can be together, but that doesn't make the present any easier. i feel like her and i are constantly being robbed of things that people in normal relationships get to take for granted.......but i also think some things are being preserved for us. like for the most part, when we see each other, often times it still feels fresh and new and exciting.

anyway, i just wanted to tell you that i understand a lot of what you said. sorry for the rambling. :)

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's always nice to meet someone who actually understands what I'm going through as far as the long distance thing goes. Because I definitely understood a lot of what you were saying, too.