evergleam

I keep opening up the update page, but nothing's been coming out. So I thought I'd post my creative writing assignment instead of trying to write about what's been going on the last few days. I was going to wait until I had worked on it a lot more, but I think I'd rather get some more feedback before I do that. The assignment was to write a scene in which two characters are having a boring coversation without making the scene itself boring. I was having a lot of trouble actually getting my characters to talk, so I know the conversation needs fleshing out. Also, I'm pretty sure the characters themselves could use at least some more physical description.

So, please. Feedback/constructive criticism is my anti-drug. Or something.

Shawn had knocked on her door early that morning, smelling already of dry leaves and freshly mowed grass. His bike was laying behind him on the front lawn. She had followed him out into the crisp morning air and hopped on her own bike. It was the last day of summer, and the air was still heavy with the thick scent of honeysuckle.

"Hey, wait up! You know I’m not as fast as you!" Elena pleaded, following behind him along the cracked sidewalks and huffing to stay close.

"Keep up, Lena! It’s not my fault you’re a girl," Shawn called back.

Turner Elementary was only a few blocks from Elena’s house, so most days the two made their way to the school playground. Sometimes they would meet friends there for a couple of games of tag or kickball, chasing each other in circles around the blacktop that was searing from summer days that never seemed to end. But today they were alone.

Shawn reached the playground well before Elena. He bounded off of his bike, slinging it to the ground, and was on the swings before Elena even pulled up. She dismounted and carefully propped her little blue bicycle against the slide. The kickstand had rusted into place the night she let Shawn borrow her bike and he left it out in the rain. A slight breeze blew her fine brown hair into her eyes as she wandered toward Shawn and the swings. She plopped down beside him.

"I’m kind of nervous about school tomorrow," Elena sighed. She twirled the toe of her shoe in the gravel absentmindedly.

"I’m not. It won’t be a big deal at all. As far as I can tell, the only thing that we’ll be missing is recess, and who needs recess anyway? We’re not in fifth grade anymore."

Elena chewed on her lip. He didn’t understand why she’d be nervous. She had known Shawn all her life. Their mothers both had picture albums full of the two of them together, on the Ferris wheel at the carnival when they were five, on the beach when they were seven and their families had vacationed together, at dinner after fifth grade graduation. Shawn’s family lived three streets down from Elena’s, right on the other side of the division between school districts. For the first time, Elena would be starting a school year without Shawn.

"Have you gotten your schedule yet?" Elena asked him. His small frame seemed so much smaller on the swing next to her. She had hit a growth spurt sometime in June, already she was two inches taller than him.

"I—think—my—mother—has—it!" Shawn was pushing himself in circles, wrapping the chain around itself over and over, then lifting his feet off the ground and spinning so fast it made Elena queasy just to look at him, a blur of blonde hair and blue jeans.

The wind had stopped blowing, and her long hair was sticking to the back of her neck. She glanced around the familiar playground, at the harsh sun glinting on the metallic slide and the monkey bars that she outgrew in third grade. Suddenly Shawn yelped as he glanced down at his oversized digital watch.

"I have to get home, my mom’s gonna kill me! We’re going shopping for some stupid school clothes or something. I’ll see ya, Lena." He was already on his bike and yelled the last bit to her, waving as he raced away.

Elena turned her face upward, the wispy clouds in swirls as though a child was playing with finger paints. "I’ll miss you," she whispered.