help me stay awake, i'm falling

[evergleam]

So what if I moved to New York and did something television-related, maybe the NBC page program or something? I could do that for a year and then go back to school. Maybe. Paying loans would be really hard, living in New York and getting paid next to nothing, but it might be worth it. Maybe.

Or maybe I could just go straight into grad school. It occurred to me the other day that I could go to grad school for writing. I don't know why it took me so long to think of that. It's definitely something I could get on board with. But then the questions nagging at me become: do I really need to go to school to become a better writer? Shouldn't I first start with just plain writing more?

I got asked by the lady at the snowball stand the other day what my plans were for after graduation. And people wonder why this stresses college students out? You can't go anywhere without being asked what your plans are, or people saying that you should have a plan now, don't you realize you're just months from graduation, you'd really better figure it out soon! I just recently decided I was okay with college, and now I have to figure something else out? And who are these people who think it's okay to ask these questions repeatedly, anyway? Obviously people who never went to college.

The two constricting knots at the base of my neck haven't gone away. It was pretty bad last night, and tonight hasn't been much better. I don't feel any more stressed out than usual, but for some reason I can't get worked up about anything without wanting to double over in pain. Which worries me because lately I get worked up about things a lot.

And what's really not helping is that it's just shy of 430 a.m. and I'm still awake. Lack of sleep will not help anything, least of all my ability to concentrate on anything other than the stress. Grrr indeed.

Comments

[khai]

I *think* that if you want to be a writer, once you've done an undergrad degree you're better off experiencing life and writing about it rather than studying more.

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

See, that's what I've been thinking previously, which is probably why I never thought to go to grad school for writing. In any case, I think I'll wait at least a year before heading back to school. I'm not positive yet that it's what I want to do, and I'd rather not spend any more money until I figure that out. :P

[khai]

Also, think carefully about whether you'd be doing more study because you're trying to delay the whole 'getting a real job' thing / getting to that point where you have to make big decisions.

I've been thinking about this kind of thing for a while... I'm counting the days.

[madmoisellestar.livejournal.com]

As long as you pay your half of the rent, I'm not going to bother you about what you do. I'll even share food with you. : p




(and you can get loan deferrals for stuff like page programs)

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

Yay! Non-judgemental friend-roommate-types! Those are the best kinds. ;)

And dude. I didn't know that page programs counted as one of the things you could get a deferral on. I should look into my whole student loan situation a little more closely, soon, eh?

[frenchthebully.livejournal.com]

Cripes, I can't stand the "so what are your plans" questions. I just started grad school for an English degree, and everyone keeps asking me what I plan to do with it. Um, probably hang it on my wall. I enjoy learning - why do I need to explain everything to you friggin people?

I think a lot of it is the whole "living vicariously" thing. They like to think that young people have their lives all planned out and organized because they themselves haven't gotten to do everything they wanted.

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

I definitely want to continue learning, I'm just not sure in what capacity. I'm afraid of deciding on something and then being unhappy with it and then having wasted a year's worth of tuition somewhere.

That's true, the living vicariously thing. The snowball lady had definitely not gone to college, and she seemed to be one of those types who believes a college degree is the answer to everything. Much like my grandparents. :P

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I'm sick of being asked that question too! Why can't "I Don't know" be an acceptable response, especially when it's the truth!

What I do know is that in 8 months I'll have a degree (a useless one) and no future! Yay!!

:/

-Bobak