It's raining in Baltimore baby, but everything else is the same...

I had one of those nights that I hope to remember for a long, long time. It involved me, some of my favorite people, good food, lots of laughter, a cool spring night, a great view of the prettiest baseball field bathed in stadium lights, a talk with someone who will be graduating soon and leaving forever.

I had a night that makes me actually enjoy being in college.

I'm sure sihaya09 will write a nice entry about it, she usually does.

Right now, I'm feeling tired, but content. On the way back from the Orioles game, on the metro ride home, I think I realized something about my relationship with Greg. I could write about it here, but I don't think it would be fair to him. But as I watched Mike lean his tired head on Christina's shoulder, as I listened to Mark and Rac talk, and smiled when Aster said something funny and Mark mouthed to me that he loved her, as I thought about Rac going back to her new boyfriend, and the girl waiting for Nate when we got back...I realized what I'm missing. I don't know why it took all of this to realize it, but maybe I've just been trying to kid myself into believing it wasn't there.

I've been in a long distance relationship for about three years. I don't know what it's like to share my day to day life with someone. I don't know what it would be like to have nights like tonight with someone who loved me, in that way. I want Greg to be part of night's like tonight, in my memories. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time letting go of the past, that's the only place that he and I exist together. But all of that aside, I want him to be a part of my life, and I don't feel like he is.

I don't even know if he reads this. Right now, I don't care. This might be the only way to get in contact with him. I haven't talked to him in days. That hurts so much.